Thursday, January 21, 2010

Funny story about hell...

The following is an actual question given on a University chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
  2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting “Oh God!”

Sphere: Related Content

11 comments:

炫風 said...

喜歡你的部落格,留言請您繼續加油........................................

九份 said...

原來這世上能跟你共同領略一個笑話的人竟如此難得........................................

Mark - Katy - Ben said...

very interesting question about hell, sounds a bit like your talking about the universe, maybe hell is the universe.

Ahtivak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Absolutely Brilliant! I feel like retaking my Physics all over again now that I know how to put theory into practice!

Porngal said...

Funny as hell! hahaha

Michael said...

Hi,
I like this post because it is informative and helpful to all readers. I would like to revisit this post.
Thanks,
Green Business Certification

Michael said...

Hi,

This post is very important because it has content which is useful to all.

Thanks,
Green Certification

Anonymous said...

fantastic....I really feel the need to share this....funny as !

eLITE said...

very fantastic.. boy, you're brilliant..

wej said...

nice blog entry.

Of Eagles Blog
pastowej

=)