Friday, June 20, 2008

How Much Do You Worth??!!

Just received a late newsletter from Stuart Knight...
That letter just hit on the perfect spot...

Definitely life is full of signs,
we just must be open to listen to them!

Thanks Stuart.


Hey there everyone,

Sorry for the late newsletter this week.

I've been swamped withc orporate speaking engagements, but here I am with a very quick thought for you.

As usual, if you like what you read, feel free to pass it on to someone who will get something from it.

I bumped into an old friend this week who I haven't seen for quite a few years.

As we were talking, she was telling me that she now designs purses for the high end market of New York City. As we were talking we moved into the subject of how much she should charge for her bags.

I have to say that I was blown away to find out that her purses come at a price anywhere from $350 to $1200 for a purse. Being a man, although I knew there was a market that would pay this amount for purses, I was still taken back.

This conversation moved into us talking about how much I charge for tickets to my shows, to my workshops and how much I charge for my keynote speaking engagements.

And as we were talking about this, we both realized that when you are an entrepreneur you have no other choice but to charge the amount that you are worth. If you don't, people will react in one of two ways.

The first is they will gladly take advantage of you and pay the lower amount or secondly they will see your product or service at a lower value and won't buy at all.

And as we came to this understanding, I realized that this is true for all of us whether you are an entrepreneur or not.

We all have to demand the amount that we are worth.

If we don't demand it, people will either gladly take us at a "lower fee" or not see our true worth and then avoid us all together.

What are you worth when it comes to your love life,
to your job,
with your friendships,
in your living situation,
with your health,
your income,
your level of adventure
and with your family?

What do you deserve?

As an entrepreneur with twelve years of full time experience I can tell you that you will always get what you ask for.
So ask for it and get it!

You deserve it.
Trust me.

It took me a long time to ask for what I deserve and now that I do, I only wish that I asked for it sooner.

Much love,


PS: I strongly recommend you to sign up for Stuart newsletters, they always come at the right time.

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Are You Proud of Who You Are?!

I am!
That is why I wanna invite you to the Arraial Pride,
the best and biggest gay pride party of Portugal!

28th June in Terreiro do Paço.

There is going to be a lot of fun around, Join in...

You do not need to be gay to be there!
Just be open minded and come share with us good times!
With your presence, you are
Helping us get our right to indifference!!!

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Thursday, June 19, 2008

What Are Your Options in Love???

Our options in love seem to be complicated, but if we look a bit further, they are not...

I guess in my case I am just scared.
Even if I know that being scared is beautiful, it is not easy to deal with...

I thought it is going to be hard to meet people.
Cool people.

But it was not true. I have been meeting awesome dudes.
They are all over the place!

Professionals, or artists, or students...
Hard workers.
Awesome partners for chats (for the moment online)

But getting to give the next step is getting so hard for me.
I keep on avoiding the date.
And I haven't figured out why...

In the meanwhile I receive this video from Tose that made me think about the possibility of being scared not of how hard is to get to know a cool person, but how hard is to love, once we are in love...

I guess love is more than a natural thingy...
Love needs to be taken care of.

I do want to take care of the love I will feel, not just of the person I will love.
I want to miss that person one second after I have left for job...
Miss that person during the coffee with my co-workers...
Miss that person so much that it hurts.

Maybe I am making love painful when it does not need to be, but you know what, I don't care, I really don't care. I want to give myself as a present, and if I will get broken to pieces again, you all already know what happens with my heart when it gets broken...

I am looking forward to it.
I have been getting better physically (exercise hard everyday, personal trainer starting next week and proteins and diet!)...
I have been getting better in managing my time to have space for a relationship (working normal and real working hours!)
I have been getting better emotionally (closing old and new wounds!)

Next week I will also have my first two dates.
I will be ready.

I want to leave one of my dates feeling like Tose's song...
Like leaving the person after the date will be the hardest thing to do!
I want to fall in love like a spark!
I want to meet my own expectations.
I want a magic night!
I do not want to wait more.
I do not want to waste time.

I want to love
and be loved back!

This is the new video of late Macedonian and Balkan pop icon Tose Proeski that aired for the first time on June 1 on MTV Adria.

The spot for "The Hardest Thing" was created by three Slovenians - Jani Cherne, Matej Kavcnik and Igor Nardin - who made the selection out of seven-hour recorded material.

The song is part of Tose's English-language album, which was to launch Tose's international career.

The material for the CD shot in Jamaica, Sweden and London, will be released in autumn 2008, cannot wait!!!...

The Hardest Thing

I sleep all night
Right by your side
I love to hear your breathin'

The morning light
Opens my eyes
It’s nearly time
For leavin'

I know that is seems like it's easy for me
All I wish you could feel what's goin' on inside

It's the hardest thing that I ever have to do
To walk away from you
when I wanna hold you

It's the hardest thing in every single day
To have to turn away
I want you to know that

This is the hardest thing

Another day
is years away
I close my eyes
to see your ways

The more I wait
the longer it takes
It fells like time
is standing still

Wherever you go
whatever you do
I want you to know that you're on my mind

It's the hardest thing that I ever have to do
To walk away from you
when I wanna hold you

It's the hardest thing in every single day
To have to turn away
I want you to know that

This is the hardest thing

Just let go of your hand
it's the hardest thing

To make you understand
that to love you fell you
Till the time I see you again
It's the hardest thing


It's the hardest thing that I ever have to do
To walk away from you when I wanna hold you
It's the hardest thing in every single day
To have to turn away I want you to know that
This is the hardest thing

I sleep all night
Right by your side
I love to hear your breathin’

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Friday, June 13, 2008

Do You Have a Story to Tell??!!

Then you tell it!
There is no need to tell names, to mention who the others are...
At the end of the day, those stories are as yours as theirs...

Yes, it is true, they also belong to the others that lived them with you...
They can be told differently by the other parties...
But tell them your way.
They are yours!
They make you who you are...
As my stories make me who I am today.

Ugly or not,
Fat or not,
Skinny or not,
Macho-man or not...
I know how special I am.
I know you are there reading me and agreeing.
I know I am a story being written every day.
I just don't know who I am being written for...
But I know I will know.

Time is time.
Time is like impossible.
It is temporary.

I have learned how to wait.
I am a story.
Come and read me.
And write on me.
I need more chapters.
I need new characters.

I have closed chapters, and writting them is just about not forgetting them.
But they are closed.
Very closed.

And there are also old characters opening new acts.
Re-writing some old stories.
Those, those are welcome.

Recent closed chapters are to remain closed.

I know I am not a boring story.
I know I am the kind of story people wanna be part of.
Auditions are open...
Come and play!

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...
I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue

I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you

Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do
I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...
I was made for you

Thanks to my new friend for the song!!!

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I know you have complexes, I have mine too...

When I was a kid, I was extremely skinny and had just one eyebrow...
I guess it was there where everything started, but I don't really remember feeling this way at all at that time, or maybe I was just not aware enough to realize it!

I started to get better later on.
I got a clean space in the south of my forehead that gave me two eyebrows, that was big accomplishment, even if I had to fight a very conservative Latin American society at the beginning of the 90's... "Boys don't do that..." Haha! Like a gay guy cares...
I know today things are different...

With time, I started to get better... and feel better... and dress better... and take care of every detail to polish myself to the max...

I guess it was in this way that I started to get the cool hunk boys, the cute ones... the ones that other guys were not courageous enough to approach, and for a while that was my goal, to get them all... and for years I was very successful!!!

Until the day I met Carlitos.


I fell in love with him as I never did before.
He was, and still is, my first real love...
This is a secret, please don't tell anyone...

We started what it was a very painful relationship, like competing...
But it was not him, it was me, I can see that clearly enough now...

I never learned how to be loved.
How to accept that someone can love me, how to receive love.
And since then I have kept myself sabotaging every intent to feel what it is like to be loved.

One of the wounds that I have carried for years comes from a conversation with him that he does not recall having with me, funny enough and fair enough, isn't?

He told me:
"Remember that the cute one in this relationship is me!"

Oh! I still can feel it like it was that day.
All my self confidence went straight to the floor.
All my strength, my courage, my stillness...

And I got full of doubts.
Full of resentment.
Full of anguish...

Don't ask me why, it seems so stupid, and with the kind of things that I have faced in life, believe me this is nothing...

But there it was, and still is...

From that moment on,
very inside of myself,
I have felt ugly.

Very ugly.
Just in case you haven't notice that is my worst complex!
Funny enough that my first strength is Appreciation of Beauty!!!
I should be right, isn't?
I am definitely ugly.

Across years I have had this conversations with my best friends, my coaches, my family...
And for a while it gets better...
But something is so screwed inside me, that always repeats.

I have deal with so many other complexes and dilemmas, and get over them, but this one, this one does not want to go away!

The last guy I met and I kind of hang around with here in Portugal started the whole stuff by telling me:
"Remember I am a 9 and you are a 6... Well maybe a 7"...
Just got to know from a new friend (I hope new friend!) that this is a phrase from a scene in Ugly Betty!!! Not even original... Sad! but funny, cos is still linked to Ugly stuff...

Amanda: You and him?
Marc: Why not? He's a 9, I'm an 8.
Amanda: He's a 10, you're a 6.
Marc: You're a b**** I'm a 7!
Thanks to my 'new friend' for keep on playing his own game... and for sharing this and his story with me!

Fun enough?
I guess that is why I kept on going out with him, because I knew where we were heading... Nowhere! Since there was nothing there apart of a cute face and an acceptable bit fat-ish muscle-wanna-be body.
I knew I won't get involved, so I said to myself, let's try this out to see what happens with you when you face this situation again.

Nothing happened.
I remain the same, and we headed there... Nowhere.
Later on he upgraded me to a maybe 8!

Point is, I still feel ugly.
Point is, I need to deal with it.
Point is, I don't know how...
Point is, I have tried almost everything (missing plastic surgery)
Point is, life reconnected me with Carlitos and he does not even recall the conversation.
Point is, I am screwed.
Point is, I don't know what the point is...

I have my complexes.
You have yours.

I deal and live with mine the best I can.
I guess you do the same.

I am Dey, the cool guy everybody says is cute, but feels ugly.
Very Ugly!
Nice to meet you.


Talking with Carlitos is making me feel like time has not passed and like I am having butterflies in my stomach... Have you felt that way when reconnecting with your first love? It is dangerous territory, be aware! At least he is in Venezuela and I am here, distance is a good friend... sometimes...

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Are you feeling lonely?!

Just scream your name as hard as you can....
and again, and again....

Remember you will always have yourself,
if you scream hard enough to wake yourself up!

Wake up!
Learn that loneliness is part of life...
To suffer and grow...
To reflect and enjoy...

Get a drink...
Write a letter...
Sing a song...
Cry a bit...

But never, ever, blame someone else...

I need to go out scream my name again...
will be back...

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I Have Seen This Twice, And I Have Cried, TWICE!

Life is amazing and this world is full of people who can do beautiful things...
Nothing else to add.

And here is him today, Mr. Paul Potts!
Dreams truly come true!!!

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Monday, June 9, 2008

Strengths for AIESECers...

My friend David Pollay just send me a mail asking me to share a new link for the assessment.

If you are or were an AIESECer... Please do take the VIA survey here.

David has been following and tracking the development of strengths in AIESECers world wide for a couple of years now, and if you take the survey in this link you will not only get the same results, but will be contributing to the ongoing International Leadership Strengths research project.

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Friday, June 6, 2008

Do You Really Know What Your Strengths Are?

Through a connection with David Pollay in my last year in AIESEC I got to take a survey that allowed me to see more clearly what I am really good at, what my strength are...

Today I took the survey again and even if some of the top five have changed, my major strength to date remains the same: "Appretiation of Beauty and Excellence".

This survey is an excellent way to get to know yourself better.
I highly recommend you to take a look at David's post in his blog and take the VIA test.

Here are my top 5 strengths...
It make me happy to know this, gives me a sense on what I can focus on to keep shining!

Your Top Strength
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Your Second Strength
Bravery and valor

You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your

Your Third Strength
Curiosity and interest in the world

You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

Your Fourth Strength
Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness
You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control

Your Fifth Strength
Social intelligence

You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

Let me know what your strengths are in the comments of this post, will love to share our impressions, and who knows,
maybe partner to grow!!!

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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The true story of a gay guy...

This can be for sure the true story of many gay guys out there...

There are parts that definitely match some of my sad - and however powerful - experiences.

These stories are part of what has been making us strong enough to keep on moving and succeding in a world full of hate against us.
These stories are also part of what has made us cry and suffer, most of the time alone huging our pillow at night.

I saw this video and got so touched and identified that couldn't help but post it here.

Part of my story is there. Part of the story of many of my friends.

I love you guys... Keep on fighting!
We are beautiful!
and we also are GREAT PEOPLE!

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Monday, June 2, 2008

....and love finally arrives home!!!

I'm glad I met you...
I want to love you!

You're beautiful to me!
Let's make it real...

Dinner tomorrow?
Oh! I have to tell you first who I am...

Enjoy the song anyway...

This song is from Tose Proeski. I wrote about him in a post last year.
He was one of the most promising singers from the Balkans. An amazing Macedonian man that lost his life in a car crash.

By the time he had the accident he was finishing details for his international launching. This sing is one of the set to be released with a memorial CD with latest not published material.

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