I felt how all my Self let itself be interpreted by the background, the music, the boy, my memories, my little town, the river behind my house, the rainy days in which I used to go to the river, to cry over the river another river...
The river of my shame.
I am not ashamed anymore.
I though so...
Why is this video bringing all that back?
Those images are still there, just covered by the dust of the days, as I am used to say.
I am cleaning dust out.
I understand partially why this video made me cry without crying.
Tomorrow I am hosting a party.
Today I need to get the shit out of me.
One step at a time, as the rain is made of one drop at a time.
[Chorus x2] I'm so Hidden and you're never gonna see I'm cold Forgiven all because of my beliefs I'm no Body that you ever wanna be Cause I know that the world is afraid of me
[Monoxide Child] Now you can try to sedate me, assassinate or just hate me But there's nothing that you can do to me lately Now I'm greatly accepted in the mind so I'm confused and intertwined From being rejected so many times, I wanna leave it all behind So kind of you to pick up the album and give it a try for once And run and tell your homies that these motherfuckers will die for us
So many questions, fingers pointing for answers Suggesting that I'm the cancer that lingers inside the pasture With green grass up to my neck, and situations that's too fast To think about and most people can't dream about A hundred million miles and every single second And every time you hear this record I want you to feel me on every sentence Reminisce from descendants of past treasures We'll embark on a journey that'll stay alive forever Plus I would stand over on my side of the fence Regardless of the circumstances or the consequences
[Chorus x2] I'm so Hidden and you're never gonna see I'm cold Forgiven all because of my beliefs I'm no Body that you ever wanna be Cause I know that the world is afraid of me
[Jamie Madrox] I am my own worst enemy I'm not the smartest motherfucker and shit, I don't pretend to be And why I am the way I am is not a mystery My mind's not in proper working order or in therapy The brain's confused and mentally abused Life's been hanging on a string so what the fuck I got to loose? And what the fuck I got to prove to you? If you don't know me by now, you'll never know me You can put that on my real homies I got problems and they stack like bills And I relate to the broken, bleeding heart love killed And I awaited in the shadows, awake in the dark Hoping to talk to the passed on, I'm falling apart I'm such a mess and decisive, I'm fading away I'm out of touch with society and living today Never relying on my sanity, I threw it away To become the maniac that's got your attention today
[Chorus x2] I'm so Hidden and you're never gonna see I'm cold Forgiven all because of my beliefs I'm no Body that you ever wanna be Cause I know that the world is afraid of me
[Monoxide Child] Can you keep a secret? Well I'm afraid world because they want me to die, can you believe it? But I'm still alive... and been floating since '95 With my chin held high but I'm so dead inside Let the problems just roll and put them back into a pile Because it's just a bunch of shit that I can't deal with right now And I'm tired of always guessing and messing it up again And the next day it's even deeper and I'm steady sinking in
[Jamie Madrox] I took a look at myself and came to grips with what I found It was a vision of a child, disturbed and broke down No soul, no heart because I gave it away No time for feeling sorry, I'll grieve another day And all those tears are stored in storm clouds That hover above me and cover the ugly Continued to haunt me when I was feeling low That's the same reason I hold on and never let go
[Chorus x4] I'm so Hidden and you're never gonna see I'm cold Forgiven all because of my beliefs I'm no Body that you ever wanna be Cause I know that the world is afraid of me
Here I am again stealing something that deserves it! This time I found it in Jorien's Blog.
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It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
